Thanksgiving Wierdness

Okay, so this is going to be one really long entry. I had a very interesting Thanksgiving break. I've been delaying writing it all down just because there is so much to say. To start, I went with Sean Brown, my friend from UM, to his home in Naples, FL for the break. He lives in a two bedroom condo with his mom, Karen.

Wednesday, we spent three hours in the car trying to get from Miami to Naples. We listened to "her" music and I talked to her a little bit about christian music, a genre she loves and I have long since abandoned. It was funny to hear myself spouting out artists that I intrinsically hated but pretended to like for her sake. Now that I think about it. My whole weekend (well a portion of it) was spent praising things I was fundamentally against for the sake of those around me.

My throat was still very much in pain from the massive ulcer in the back and I had to swallow anesthetic gel in order to be able to eat basically anything. I went to bed that night with nothing but gel, pumpkin seeds, and some orange juice in my stomach. Thanksgiving morning I wasn't allowed to eat anything either because Mike Ladney, Karen's current employer, was treating the family to a "Port Royal" Lunch. Chris, Sean's long-time friend, showed up with barely enough time to get ready and head to Mike's house before the five of us went to lunch. Okay, Sean and I had managed a rather peaceful break thus far. We watched some TV, had a few minor arguments, and slept, but as soon as I stepped in Mike Ladney's house... everything changed.

Mike Ladney is an 86 year old man who has been extremely successful in life as a manufacturer of hubcaps and gas-injected molding. Despite his great wealth, he is a very lonely man. He takes great joy in having three young men and a lady in his presence. He saw Chris, Sean, and me as his sons and future millionaires like him. And he saw Karen as a replacement for his wife and mistress. The most ridiculous things come from this man's mouth and I truly hope to capture them in this entry.

The first thing we did was "tour" his house. That was a joke. It was a mess and junk cluttered every corner. There was this freaking annoying frog that croaked everytime you step in front of the beam (god, i really just wanted to chuck that sucker). Mike started by showing us his china cabinet that had been converted into a picture cabinet for pictures of his wife and the "love of his life." The wretch called his wife was a bare subject but he touched on it a couple times. The way he spoke about her made me realize just how sensible she was (lol, in my mind at least). His wife gave blessings to their daughter to marry a "brown, Brazilian" man and Mike very strongly disagreed. He refused to give her away and shunned the family. Now that he is in need of a family, however, he has made an attempt to love the "beautiful brown babies" but the damage had been done. And lacking the ability or will to dismantle his racism, he will never stand a chance.

The next topic was the woman, June, who lived with him for 15 years after his divorce. His children had been adults at the time of the divorce and chose to break ties because their mother got enough money and the didn't feel like having their lives controlled. June is now in an Alzheimer's unit in CA where she will remain for the rest of her life. June's daughter hates Mike (as do many people who know him) and feels it best not to give him visiting rights (as he's so sex deprived he's liable to rape her).

The main living room of Mike's house has two big fish that "he caught." It's very depressing to me to hear him brag about those fish and how he caught them. He can only take pride in the things he has personally done and can only take satisfaction in impressing others with his pride. He plans to have a professional put up his "themed" wallpaper that is supposed to "bring out" the fish. If you ask me, considering how there is absolutely no theme to the room anyway, the fish stick out enough. And if you were going to put up wallpaper, you might as well NOT spend freaking $10 grand on it. (no i did not mistype) He takes joy in the things that are monetarily dazzling. So i look at the paper and don't think anything special of it. But when he sees it he sees a lot of money that is supposed to draw attention to his fish which took a lot of money to catch, including owning boats.

The boats. lol. He took me through the tour of all the boats and I was not impressed... Mainly because he claimed that he and his brother put together this car engine and got it to run in a boat when he was 15. In the picture, they do not look 15 and the two kids in the back of the boat, actually running the engine are "just some neighborhood kids who came along for the ride." So, he has all these boats and never knew enough about them. He certainly used the boats but now they just lay to waste and he retains them only for show.

When we get to the Port Royal Club for Lunch it is at least 1:30 and I am so hungry I can hardly stand it, nor hardly swallow. Every waiter and waitress knows "Mr. Ladney" and exactly where he is sitting. They know not to upset him because he is vindictive and very wealthy. (He'd sue the club for all their worth, and considering the $30k/year memberships thats gotta be a bit.) OK, so we finally go get food and he MAKES me get certain foods. I'm already annoyed. These meals are hard to relate but basically what all three of them consisted of was me trying to find good food, Chris brown-nosing Mike for as much favor as he could, Mike telling us all in his own way that we should have chosen a different "path," Sean trying to say as little as possible, and Karen fending off the passes Mike made at her.

One of the most rediculous passes he made on her came on the last night we dined. I was somehow talking about how little children tend to get up in the morning and go to their parent's bedrooms to cuddle before the day starts. Sean denies doing this and I said that he should make it up to his mother by cuddling with her every morning durning the break. So Sean blushes and puts his head down. We all think it's funny until Mike decides to change the mood: "If you don't, I will!" WOW. I was shocked. He's freaking 86 and certainly doesn't pay Karen enough for THAT. Sean quietly got up to start getting his food in protest. I just stayed there trying to figure out what would happen next.

Other memorable moments from the weekend no that you know the characters:

Friday, before the Seafood Buffet (the night that Sean enjoys the most according to his mother), I ended up at the ER so they could take a look at my throat and try to give me something. (They did give me a cortisone shot and antibiotics, I'm better now.) While Karen waited with me there, Chris and Sean worked on a mouse-trap car. When Karen and I got home we found Chris playing Doom 3 on her laptop (already forbidden) and Sean sprawled out on the air matress. Apprently they had purchased a few necessary parts from Home Depot and then given the rest of the afternoon away to sinful indulgence. They had consumed massive amounts of ColdStone Ice Cream. I picked on Sean for being so stupid in the bedroom while Karen in her rage uninstalled Doom 3 and relentlessly tried to kick Chris out of the house so he would go get ready for dinner.

I left out a character, Carmen. Carmen is Karen's new kitten. She is himilayan and no longer has front claws. On Friday, despite enormous pressure from those around her, Karen took Carmen to "have her nails done" and be spayed. First of all... Carmen is a red and has always meant red. So why the hell is she naming a brown and white cat Carmen. Secondly... this cat has not torn up anything in the house yet and was just starting to get used to her claws. She is extremely fun-loving and will miss her claws dearly, I can tell.

I hate to stop right here but I think I will have to pick this up later as it is already 2am. Night